


In the shade of greatness

by NoeminaFlux



Category: Chris Hemsworth - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies), Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Slow Burn, Unresolved Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-06
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-25 03:07:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4944448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoeminaFlux/pseuds/NoeminaFlux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Chris gives Tom a call after what has been more than a year without being in touch, old and unwelcome feelings for his friend come up and long before Chris expected, destiny brings both actors back together. In this case, destinys name is Robert Downey Junior. It's his 50th birthday party, both actors are invited and things get a lot more difficult for Chris...</p><p>Chris Hemsworth / Tom Hiddleston<br/>Slighty RDJUDE</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I'm a total newbie in this community. This is my first fanfiction written in English which is not my mother tongue so apologies in advance for any mistakes you may find. Characters are sadly not mine of course and I cheated a tiny little bit with the correct order of events. But hey, after all this is fiction...  
> I hope you like it regardless.  
> Many thanks to Jenni and Emma for double checking and helping me out here and there. Love you both.

**Chapter 1**

Chris let out a great sigh, opening a bottle of Jack Daniels before mixing it with some Coke and letting himself fall back onto his super large couch. It was exhausting. To say the least. And by "IT" he meant his life. Which was funny considering that at the very moment he found himself sitting in his new house overlooking the moonshine over the ocean. The house they bought less than a year ago in Byron Bay was incredibly stunning with its panoramic views over the beach, but still he felt burned out, exhausted. 

He loved Elsa, he loved his two twins Tristan and Sasha and his little baby girl India over the moon, yet he still could not deny that sometimes he was more than happy to get away from them to film a new movie or attend premieres. It was great being with just Elsa and India but now it was triple trouble. It was always a bit of a shock coming back from weeks of quiet hotel nights to three screaming and demanding children, though usually it took him no more than ten days to miss all of them to an unhealthy point and no more than five days of wanting to return back to work whenever he arrived home. Only for some days of course. Which was impossible of course. His life was unbalanced. 

Sometimes he was away for weeks on end shooting new movies and others, when he was finally at home he'd be without Elsa for weeks as she was also an actress. They were thankful for their Nanny Emma taking care of the kids, she almost spent more time in their house then they ever did. He tried to be a good father, though often felt like he did not put enough energy into it. 

Sometimes he caught himself wondering if he chose the right path in life. Torn between a life settled in suburbia just being the perfect husband and father. What would it be like kissing his family good morning, driving the kids to school, doing his 9 to 5 day job and coming home to his wonderful family? There was that and his other life. The most intense, crazy and exciting life of a fairly well known actor. Getting the most privileged opportunities for the most amazing roles, seeing all those new places, having the popularity and fanbase of people getting excited at his mere presence, meeting the best people he has ever met in his life and being in a completly different world. He knew he would never be able to give that life up. 

_I should not complain_ he thought to himself- having both was a blessing, not a curse.  
  
Days like today were rare. He had wished to spend the night with Elsa watching a movie after the kids were in bed, but movie nights often ended up in anything but watching the movie. It was more like bodies wrapped together under the blanket and then..., well, he did not want to go there, she wasn't here even for that, she was already asleep. So rather not wasting thoughts that could get him into a horny mood, he spent the night semi drunk on the couch, half watching rugby on telly and half surfing the web. 

" _Hiddleston_ " he whispered as he entered the name into the search bar on his notebook, mind somewhat absent and probably looking quite idiotic right now as he still hasn't worked out that proper 10 finger typing technique. All he ever managed was to look like an eighty year old using the notebook like it was his first time ever. What was he even doing here? Why did news about Tom come up on his screen? His fingers seemed to have developed a mind of their own. He let out a big sigh and rubbed his eyes. By god he missed this dude and the fact seemed to have delved into his subconscious mind too now. 

During the making of the first Thor movie he became the closest friend Chris probably had since he was a teenager, which probably says a lot about Chris's social life. He missed the whole Avengers and Thor group. It’s been well more than a year since he last saw Tom and he was wondering what on earth his British friend was up to now, though being the coward that he is he just didn't have the guts to call him up. They said goodbye after the promotion tour of the second Thor movie and that was when all connections had been cut off permenatly. No one heard of the other anymore and sometimes Chris felt more upset about this than he should be. 

Tom wasn’t the only friend he had. They were both very busy too. He silently blamed himself for accusing Tom for not getting in touch, when it was him that wouldn't move a finger. “ _Fucking hell_ ” he mumbled upon seeing a website he just opened. _Did he seriously shoot like five movies in that time? The guy is nuts._ He went back to Google and clicked on the first news article he found. “ _Tom Hiddleston wants a woman like his mum" ,_ “ _What on earth dude?_ ” he laughed to himself. 

_Silly guy. Wait, what, he is finally dating someone like in a serious way? The Olsen kid?_ He was pleased for him. Although Tom would never show it, yes he even kept the whole thing quiet, Chris felt that the breakup with Kat wasn't easy on his friend. He tried to ignore the unwelcome side effects this news had on him as jealousy was not an unknown feeling linked to his this particular movie colleague. _Next article..wait_. _He talks about Thor? "Tom Hiddleston Sounds Unsure Of Loki's Future In The Marvel Cinematic Universe_ " , “ _You idiot!_ ” he mumbled upon reading in disbelief. 

His eyes turned away from the notebook screen to the smartphone on his table. Should he? But randomly call after a year though, really? All like “Hey what’s up I just totally stalked you on the internet“? Awkward. It would be awkward right?… 

He heard the ringing sound and had absolutely no clue what time it would be in London now. That was if he even was in London? 

“ _Are you Chris Hemsworth or is this a ridiculous joke?_ ” the British accent on the other side mumbled. For a moment Chris was unable to say a word. It seemed like he had even forgotten what Tom sounded like almost. But how? That distinctive voice would be one he would recognize amongst a thousand other voices in a second. 

He cleared his throat and swallowed. “ _Yeh ehm..it's me man. How on earth are you?_ ” he said in an overly cheery voice. This WAS going to end up more embarrassing than he expected. He was too impulsive too often and this was just the best example. Sometimes he wasn’t sure how he managed to be around the guy for literally weeks or months on end without going crazy or doing something incautious. He was never attracted to men. More so, until he met Elsa he was the type of man typically known as macho man. Never quite averse to a little flirt, with women this was, of course. And then there was Tom and it was just something from another world. 

Tom was noble, elegant in words and movements. Prudent also but more like a cheerful child, he was a playful, wise and a humble human being but most of all and that was the hardest part, Chris found himself being attracted to him. More than once he imagined things with Tom that should never run through the mind of a straight married man and being around Tom was both a pleasure and a pain. Chris tried to get this man out of his thoughts for years and ever since they weren’t working together anymore he did so very well. Whenever a tiny thought about Tom slipped in he managed to wipe it out, but for tonight, he failed. 

Tom made a moaning sound. “ _You have got NO idea what time it is in Paris have you?”_

Paris? “ _I'm sorry Paris?"_

“ _4 in the morning. I thought I had turned my phone off and it woke me and oh I just smashed that glass of water down when my phone rang and I am bloody tired yes, but apart from that I am fine. I'm glad you care about my state of health at 4 in the morning_ ” Tom still talking as much as ever. 

“ _I...I'm sorry. Shit. I'll hang up and call later, I'm really sorry mate"_

Tom let out a quaint laugh at the other end of the phone, the type of sound that made Chris help but not to smirk. Only such ridiculously funny and contagious laughter like Tom's could make him smirk. 

“ _It's ok it's ok_ ” he said with a soundly yawn. “ _How are you? How is Elsa?”_

" _Elsa is fine. We're both home at same time for once can you believe it? Listen Tom. It's fine. We can talk later, you probably need sleep. Why on earth are you in Paris anyway?”_

“ _I am all yours Chris no worries. Crimson Peak, my new movie. Not sure if you heard about it?We're doing the promo tour and in ehm...about five hours, I will be flying to Italy. This is crazy, I can't even tell you how many countries I have been to this month. It's a bit surreal and puts things into perspective when-"_

Chris's laugh interrupted him. Even at this crazy hour the man still managed to sound organised. 

“ _Five movies in like what a year?”_

“ _Hum, Yeah, I guess so. I have not been home for a while now”_ he replied thoughtfully. 

_“I just read that you are unsure whether people still want to see Loki or not. You must be kidding me. Tell me this was a joke or who else will I shower with my undying brotherly love?"_

_"_ _Ehehehhe, well,_ _I_ _'m sure you can come and convince me otherwise next week. Hey have you been stalking me or something how do you know all this?_ _"_ he laughed. 

_"_ _What? Come and convince you next week? Going to Italy or Paris or wherever you may be just to feed your ego and tell you that you are the ideal Loki was not in my plans_ _"_ He tried to ignore the last question Tom asked him. 

He let his body sink deeper into the couch and closed his eyes. This was getting interesting. 

_"_ _The party? You're not gonna miss out on the birthday party are you? He got you tickets_ _and your hotel is booked_ _already_ _. All of your Avenger friends will be there. I talked to him just yesterday_ _?"_

He? Party? _“Ticket_ _'_ _s? Party?_ _"_ he repeated on the phone. 

Tom sighed _._ _"Do_ _ever check your_ _e_ _mails_ _or your phone? You need a new assistant Chris. Better move your ass to Malibu next Friday_ _!_ _“_

He sat up massaging his forehead. What was all of this about? 

_"_ _What_ _'s going on_ _in Malibu? Sorry, I’m lost here Tom“_

_"Dear Lord._ _Rob's 50th birthday_ _!_ _“_

_"_ _Shit. Oh...oh_ _I_ _totally forgot. Elsa is gonna hate me if I come. We were about to spend those next two weeks together. How can YOU even fit that in your schedule?“_

_"_ _Missing out on Sir Robert Downey Junior_ _'_ _s birthday party? There are certain things one has to witness in their life and sorry but that is_ _definately_ _one of those things. If it is just half as good as his party in Iron Man was_ _hey..“_

Chris could not help but laugh again. _"_ _Only you can manage to be this cheerful at 4 in the morning. I'll be there. I...._ _I_ _missed you..._ _"_ he whispered. 

The second he spoke out those last three words Chris bit his lip. This was not what he wanted to say. Not what he wanted to slip out of his mouth. Such thoughts were buried deep down inside him and he usually never let them get very far into his head even, now he let them come out of his mouth. The defeating silence on the other end was killing him. He did the only thing that felt right in the very moment and turned off his phone without saying another word. 

There was a good reason he avoided getting in touch with him in the past. 

He should have remembered. 

///To be continued...///


	2. Chapter 2

He looked out of the window as the plane took off, once again another goodbye. 

Once again a 14 hour flight ahead, just this time unlike the other times, he was actually nervous. 

When he explained to Elsa WHY he needed to go Los Angeles she was not impressed. " _Robert’s birthday means more to you then spending time in our holiday together then?"_ she had asked him sarcastically. He tried to explain, he lied - despite not being a good liar - that he had promised Robert to be there. As if Rob cared THAT much about his particular appearance and as if HE cared that much about Robert's birthday. It was true Robert was one of the funniest and most fascinating characters to be around, though he wouldn’t die if he wasn't present at the party. 

Meeting Tom again after all this time however, just might cause him to die. 

The desire was completely out of his control, he was almost disgusted at his own weakness. Tom calls and he comes, what else? And why was he not able to play it off cool, why did he tell him that he _missed_ him? Not in a way you would tell your friend or colleague like " _it's been a while mate_ ", no, he said it in a way and in a tone that Tom would be too smart to misinterpret. 

Why could he not add something stupid afterwards to distract him from this bullshit, why did he have to hang up so abruptly? All he managed to do was to send a stupid text message saying that his line had broken down. In a list of things not to do, he probably managed to do every single one of them. Maybe he was just thinking too much. 

Somehow, Elsa and Chris found a compromise and he would only be gone for five days. If only he had been a better liar he could have easily thrown in an imaginary meeting with some random producer in Los Angeles, but that was just against his character. He could not lie to the woman he loved, or at least not in this way. Still, he felt like a cheater as he got high on the thoughts of meeting Tom again. 

_No big deal,_ he thought to himself and tried to get as comfortable as he could on his overnight flight. _Thanks for the business class, Robert_. 

\---- 

It was something that could easily have been a set for another Hollywood movie. 

The villa was located right by the sea and was beautiful both inside and out. The path that lead to the villa entrance was mounted with burning torches and the place looked absolutely stunning, having both a large pool and a tiny waterfall even. 

Actually, the whole scenario was surreal. There were moments in Chris's everyday life that still made him feel like he was part of some _batshit crazy world_ and tonight was definitely one of them. The excitement had taken over him so much he could almost feel the blood rushing through his veins. It was a mix of being a part of this wicked party and being a part of a world that he could have never imagined some years ago. That and also the combined fact that he would be seeing " _him_ " again tonight. 

Upon entering he was yet to recognize a familiar face, the birthday boy was also nowhere to be seen. He secretly prayed that he would not be approached by anyone who was probably _important_ in the movie business as just the thought of someone coming up and recognizing him without Chris knowing who that person actually was made him feel extremely uncomfortable. He felt a big wave of relief when he began walking around and suddenly recognizing Scarlett’s voice coming from the other room. She wasn't speaking as such but singing a marvelous song called " _Summertime_ " to someone playing the piano. 

He had the pleasure of witnessing her singing once before on a crew's night out during the making of Age of Ultron and needless to say, she impressed everyone around. He grabbed the glass of the champagne one of the waiters offered him and without even giving him a look, walked into the next room and almost downed the entire glass in an instant when he saw who the other person of interest in the room was. There, Tom sat and casually accompanied Scarlett on the piano, where two wine glasses could be seen, before momentarily waiting and joining in. 

Had he not known where he was, Chris would have thought he took a trip back to the 1930's. The elegant room with what looked like a floor made of marble, a big chandelier illuminating the room, the piano and classy looking people admiring the pure talent before them made the atmosphere incredibly euphoric. Scarlett was wearing a delicate pink dress whilst Tom smashed it, in a very expensive looking black suit. _At least this time he left the bowtie at home_ , Chris thought and smirked to himself as he joined in the applause when both actors decided to call it a night. 

He almost felt underdressed for a moment wearing casual dark jeans, a white shirt and a dark waistcoat. Tom on the other hand looked better than he had even remembered, the white shirt was tight around his chest and once again Chris let out an inner sigh that made him bite his lower lip. Yes, he once again could not deny the intense yearning this gave him. Sometimes Chris wished that someone would just give him a right good brainwash and he would come out as his sober, straight, reasonable self again. 

He felt his hands getting very sweaty at this point as Tom stood up from the piano and he knew this was about the right time to finally approach him. Not knowing what exactly to do with his hands he let them slide in his jean pockets and tried to look as calm and cool as possible, but by god, he could not wipe that silly smile off his face. " _I'll be right back_ " he heard him say to Scarlett and watched him move across the room in his characteristic elegant walking style. 

Tom almost walked past but stopped abruptly when their eyes met. For a moment Tom looked as excited as Chris was feeling before his lips turned into a warm smile, " _My long lost brother_ " Tom said with a calm voice before pulling him into a tight embrace. 

Chris closed his eyes for a mere second and inhaled the familiar scent that he missed so much. 

" _It's been too long. Great performance by the way, man of thousand talents!"_ Chris said, trying to not sound too overjoyed or smile that bit too much. 

" _I know, it's been crazy long. Hey I'm really glad you came"_

" _No I am glad, I mean. I am glad you reminded me of this. Did you bring Elizabeth_?" 

Shit. He only asked because he wanted to distract himself from his own excitement but he forgot they never actually talked about her before. Tom would now probably assume he did some serious stalking about him on the internet. 

Tom looked at him all puzzled for a moment, " _Ehm...no, I didn't. Did we talk about this? Oh well I guess the media is just spreading the news everywhere at the moment_ " he said with a shrug. " _Actually this is nothing official like, I would not say we are an item yet. We're seeing each other when time allows us and that's all for now_." 

" _Yes I stumbled across this in some magazine”_ he lied with a nervous smile. _“I couldn't bring Elsa either. She wanted to stay with the kids. And oh she was not so pleased about me coming here, but as Robert had everything sorted out I thought why not go. Speaking of which, have you seen him anywhere yet?_ " 

" _I have actually, we spoke earlier but he then said he had an important phone call coming in and disappeared in a rush. I haven't seen him since. Hey why don't we get you a new drink?_ " he said with a look at the empty glass in Chris's hands and put his arm around Chris's shoulder. Just as they were about to leave the room Scarlett shouted " _Tom you **promised**!"_

_“Promised what?”_ Chris asked and raised an eyebrow. __

Tom ran his hand through his hair and looked slightly embarrassed. “ _I wish you would have bumped into me ten minutes later. It looks like I really can’t go anywhere without someone asking me to..to uhm well, dance”_

_“No way! Go for it!”_ Chris laughed and sent him off. 

Not even half an hour into this party and already he was sweeping him off his feet. 

" _Wow_ " a dark voice next to Chris said. 

" _Robert! Fancy finally seeing you here! Happy belated birthday, I’m sure my text to you got lost somewhere between the hundreds and thousands of others you received_ " he laughed and gave him a friendly tap on the shoulder knowing too well he never actually sent any text. What did he say about being a bad liar again? 

" _Are you drinking **coffee** there_?" he added and instantly regretted what he had just asked. Of course Robert would not be drinking alcohol and he hated if people reminded him of his dark past of addiction, drugs and jail. Chris hated to annoy Robert because secretly he had always admired him and still remembers the day he got news that he'd actually be working with Downey. 

" _All I get high on in these days is life itself_ " Robert mumbled as he took a sip from his mug. " _Why is this guy stealing my show again? This is MY party and he comes here and everybody forgets that they are not on some Tom Hiddleston's bloody late night show!_ " Robert added sarcastically. 

Chris smirked and just knew that Robert was secretly amused at his own joke in his mind. 

He watched in amazement, Tom just standing there all calm and focused looking down at his shoes and instantly as the song's first beat hit the floor he began dancing full on like a total pro. He was the only person Chris knew that could have everyone's eyes on him and still he seemed so humble in whatever he did. All the while, he hadn't been noticing Robert watching _him_ with a knowing smile. 

" _Come with me buddy."_

" _What?"_ Chris asked without even turning his head away from Tom’s performance. That's when Robert blocked his view completely and gave him a very insisting look, one you would rather not ignore if it's Robert Downey Junior looking at you. Resigning, he followed his role model into the kitchen, or rather one of many kitchens because Chris didn't even want to know how many he had in here. 

" _Whatcha wanna drink?"_

" _Ehm..I’d be happy with just beer I think"_

Robert nodded and opened a bottle. " _Earlier tonight I called Jude_..." 

" _Jude_?" 

Robert raised an eyebrow and Chris realized. Of course, he'd seen both Sherlock movies and it was a matter of fact those two were close friends, " _Oh. Jude Law I guess. Yeh."_

" _He couldn't come. Well he said he couldn't come but I know exactly when the little shit is lying."_

Chris's fingers held on close to the bottle that Robert had handed him while his eyes tried to focus on the most unexciting label on it. Well, this was very awkward. To be honest, he did not understand a thing. Why would Robert be telling him this, why was it so important? 

Oh... or was that the important call Tom was referring to? 

" _I'm sorry he couldn't make it_." It sounded silly but had no idea what else to throw in there. 

" _Are you listening to me? He could have very well made it but he does not **want** to be here!_ " 

Chris shook his head and gave in. " _I'm sorry Robert._ _But…look, why are you telling me this?"_

Robert leaned his body forward against the countertop and gave him a fierce look. Intimidating almost. 

“ _Jude… he is err.. well_ _for god’s sake we were sitting on a show together talking about our professional work relationship and 3 hours later I shagged him in my hotel room!”_ he spat the words out bitterly. 

Chris eyes widened and he almost chocked on his beer and had to cough hard to regain his voice again. He was not sure whether his ears played a trick on him or if Downey really had just said that. Everyone who knew Robert, also knew that one could expect anything from him at any time. He was the most unpredictable man he knew, but just randomly throwing _this_ fact on him like this _…_ why _HIM?_

_“What-”_

He didn’t get any further as Scarlett interrupted him by entering the room. 

“ _Hey guys”_ He could not have been more thankful about her sudden appearance, she was his escape from this situation, “ _Uhm, oh, I’ll come back later... sorry_ ” she said with an apologizing look and walked away. 

It seemed Chris was not able to wipe the shock off his face yet. Well, now it seemed he really was stuck there. His opponent waited till Scarlett was completely out of sight then turned to face Chris again, “ _The reason I am telling you this Chris, is because it was so damn obvious how you undressed Tom in your imagination while he was shaking his hips in there...”_ Robert smirked. 

One thing's for sure. He had fucked up big time. 

/// to be continued ///  
Guys!! Thank you so much for the Kudos and comments!! I'm rather amazed some people actually like this story, but that's what keeps me writing! :)


	3. Chapter 3

It took Chris a moment to comprehend what had just happened. Robert Downey Junior was bisexual?  
  
And more than that he had a strong urge for Jude Law? Well Jude was a handsome lad after all he knew, though he never personally met him. Despite the shock, it somewhat calmed him down that his colleague felt the same way about someone, and not just anyone aswell. Maybe he wasn't _that_ abnormal after all? However, Robert actually noticed that Chris' eyes were indeed very much focused on Tom Hiddleston, indeed undressing him in his mind. Panic started to spread in every cell of his mind as he tried to find the right words to make Robert believe he was assuming wrongly. 

A very defensive sounding " _Dude!_ " was the most intelligent thing that was able to leave his mouth. 

" _You're welcome..."_ ,was he really using the innocent Robert Downey Puppy face here? After all this? 

" _Robert_ _ **you're wrong**_ **.** _There is nothing going on between Tom and I, in fact we..we haven't seen each other in more than a year_...“ he tried to sound defensive. 

" _Yep. Still you came here all the way from Australia and we both know it wasn’t for me."_ Robert said, pouting sadly as the corners of his mouth reached his chin. " _And I really thought you came for me but then I see you starring at Tom and I think OH... oh right, this is what he REALLY came here for..."_

Chris hoped that his panic sweat would not show on his face as he got somewhat angry about Robert making all the right conclusions. All the right ones that felt so wrong. 

_"Just shut up already, this isn't funny_ ", he demanded. 

Roberts face suddenly became a lot more serious. " _I know it isn't funny._ _ **Boy**_ _I know_." With that sudden change in tone Chris noticed an openess and honesty in Roberts‘ eyes that he had never noticed before. For a few seconds they stared directly into one another‘s eyes which allowed him to have a glimpse inside his deepest thoughts. Suddenly, feelings to surrender overcame him. 

" _Does Susan know?"_

Robert raised an eyebrow, _"...does Elsa know you have a thing for him_?" 

" _Of course not. She'd leave me without a doubt. Look I think you're thinking that this is more than there actually is, which in reality is nothing at all. Anyways, you and Jude is this like serious_ ?" he tried to distract Robert by changing the subject. 

" _I wish it wasn't half as serious as it is..."_ Robert said and opened the fridge to get a bottle of beer for himself. 

_"Thought you'd stick with coffee for tonight Rob." he dared saying._

" _Exceptional situation. I'll be okay."_

He leaned back onto the kitchen unit behind him and looked directly into Chris' eyes. 

" _Look, it's going to kill you, that's all I'm trying to say. This situation will be a motherfucking pain in the ass and by saying that I don’t mean your sex life. I'm talking about having to make excuses constantly. Having to lie all the time and probably be a bad husband, a bad father..."_ Chris looked down recognizing some of these guilty feelings he already had running wildy in his mind. 

_"...and having to live a second life in the shadows because you know even if you had no obligations, in a world like ours being with a man is almost like a death sentence. It's gonna tear you apart completely. You're gonna ask yourself if it‘s worth it every single day. You're gonna walk away, but you will return inevitably. Why? Because this rush, it becomes a game or a drug and your gonna be addicted. You will want to make time for him, time you should be spending with your family. The guilt will be eating you up from the inside, but you can't go back because you are already a slave to your feelings. So reconsider, if this what you feel is but purely a sexual desire then so be it, but if it’s more...well you better_ _**run as fast as you can"**_ Roberts voice got quiter and quiter as he spoke and Chris stood listening still stunned at the purity and honesty coming from the person he would have least expected it from. 

" _You're right..."_ Chris tried to play it cool, "... _I guess it's just a sexual desire that somehow evolved. I actually feel ashamed that you somehow recognized it_." He was so bad at lying. So damn bad. 

If it had been that he wouldn't have wasted so many thoughts on that bloody Brit, he probaly wouldn’t be in this position now. He almost laughed thinking that Robert himself fell for a british actor too, ther’s just something about them. 

" _Problem is I wouldn't have told you anything about this and I would have just let you stare if it was just that. I'm right aren't I? I saw it years ago on set of the Avengers, I saw exactly those things that happened between Jude and I before I had known what it would lead to...I saw it in you two guys._ " 

_"What? What are you talking about?"_

" _We got a case of mutual attraction here Watson_ " he laughed cynically as he took a sip from his beer. 

Chris couldn't help but give his opponent a scornful smile. " _Nope_." 

" _Yup."_

" _You are wrong. So wrong_." 

" _All that british politeness made you so blind Chris_?" Robert laughed. " _A fool would notice!"_

" _Yeah maybe a Jude Law shagging fool..."_ he mumbled in response not being able to hold back the frustration that came with how the conversation was going. He could see how pissed off Robert had become as silence filled the room and he instantly regretted his rash comment. _It all seemed to go wrong during this party_ , he thought. 

At that moment Tom himself walked into the room as Chris prayed Robert would not say anything about what they’ve just been talking about. He knew he was impulsive, especially when enraged. _If there was a god above please let him keep Downey‘s mouth shut now._

With one last sarcastic look in Chris' direction and a mumbled " _great perfomance you had there..."_ into Toms direction refering to his impromtu dance and piano session, he left the room. Maybe Chris should reconsider his religious views after all. 

Tom breathed in sharply, " _Woah. Did I miss something_?" 

" _No ehm, we just had a little discussion. Everything's okay. You know what he's like_." 

All the things Robert said to him rushed through his head as Tom made himself comfortable on the bar chair next to him. Was there really something he missed all this time while working with him? Was he really blind or did Robert just see things that weren't there, after all he had been through with Jude? 

" _What happened? If I may ask."_

" _Curious of nature and yet still so polite Tom, I like that, but it's a secret. I can't tell you just yet_." He folded his arms and smiled directly at Tom hoping it would just distract him enough to stop asking any further question. 

" _He's gonna shoot a movie and we're both gonna be in it_?" 

Chris laughed and caught up on the idea. " _Something like that_." 

" _Right let's hope it's not gonna be a remake of Brokeback Mountain then_..." Tom grinned to himself as he moved his finger in circles on the work surface. 

If only he knew how much Chris would love that... 

" _Yes I have no such experience_." He wished he could slap himself for that silly response. 

" _I'm so tired_..." Tom sighed, somewhat out of context. 

" _This party only just about started and a few minutes ago you looked like you were having the time of your life."_

" _Ha yes a rush of adrenaline. It's just all the traveling, the interviews, the promotion, the parties, even the fans. It's like constantly wearing a mask. Does it sound stupid when I say I almost can't remember the last time I have been my true self? When we're working, we're someone else. When they place a camera on our faces, we're acting. It’s a perfect shiny glamorous world out there when the fans are around you, you pretend to be cheerful. It's okay. I appreciate all of that but it's been going on for a long time now, I think I derserve a break. I'm sorry I don't know why I am venting on you like this_ ." 

Chris put his feet on Toms bar chair and pushed it to the right with slight pressure so that the chair made a full turn facing him. " _I guess you just needed to be you and I am more than fine with that. Glad to have you here, Thomas William Hiddleston_." 

Tom gave him a thankful sincere smile. " _Let's do something silly_." 

" _Have you been drinking too much and not done enough silly things yet in the saloon_?" Chris laughed nervously, not knowing what to expect. As if this wasn't already the craziest evening he had ever had. 

" _No. Come on..."_ Tom got off his chair and grabbed Chris by the arm. 

He felt his heart starting to beat so quickly with excitement that he almost feared Tom would hear it as loud as it echoed through his ears. 

Still Robert‘s words were circling his mind. _Run as fast as you can._

Yet now it seems he was running into the wrong direction. 

/// to be continued 


	4. Chapter 4

Chris felt the warm sand still heated up from California sun beneath his feet as he digged his toes deeper into it and watched Tom take his shoes off and step closer to the shore. 

It was dark except for the rays of the moon and the small specs of light radiating faintly out of the house some hundred meters away, it was beautiful here and the idea of leaving the party wasn't so crazy after all. To be honest, he welcomed the relief of escaping the akward and rather unbelievably crazy situation he just had with Robert and finally being alone with Tom seemed to fill an empty void in his chest. 

That was until Tom's shirt came off. He wouldn't really...would he? 

Yes. Yes, he would. 

Chris tried not to stare so blatenly as Tom began undressing himself one piece at a time, he mustered all of his energy on focusing on the water, the moon, the stars but he failed on an incredibly high level of doing any of that. He knew this moment would forever be engraved in his mind as Tom now completely bare in the moonlight ran into the sea. 

He closed his eyes and tried to capture the moment in his mind before almost drifting away completely lost in the moment. 

" _Come on you coward!_ " he heard his friend shout from a distance away- 

".. _.shut your brain off!_ " Chris mumbled to himself. 

He shook the thoughts away as he quickly stood up ripping his clothes off and running to join Tom. As awkward as it seemed this wasn't the first time Tom had seen Chris naked, but these things just happen when you work so closely together with each other on set for months on end. The water was cooler than expected, but then again it was night time and the water always felt colder when the sun wasn't out anymore. He walked up to where Tom stood and could not hold back the challenging grin on his face. 

" _Coward you say huh_?" 

He had approximately two seconds before Tom caught on and powerfully splashed a huge chuck of water into Tom's smiling face. Not willing to lose a fight Tom began splashing water back making Chris splash harder and in the fun of hearing Tom's infectious laughter grabbed onto his body and tried to push him playfully under the water. 

_"No no! I give up! Please! Please, I'll do anything you want!"_ Tom giggled. 

_You look fucking beautiful_ Chris thought to himself as he backed off and looked at his friend wearing his typical smile with his tongue between teeth, so goddamn seductive. He wondered if he knew what he did to unsuspecting people with that very smile, the effect it had on them. _No one would notice if I kissed him here_ he thought, he wanted him with every fibre of his being and felt the heat rising to every cell in his body. No, this was not good, not good at all. 

" _Oh lord I feel like a school boy again!_ " Tom chuckled and brushed his hair back with his fingers before noticing a blank staring Chris looking directly at him, " _Chris, are you alright mate_?" 

Chris shook his head quickly realizing Tom must have noticed a change in him, by god how could he remain focused when this charming, handsome, freaking mindblowing man before his eyes was turning his whole world upside down. 

" _Sure yes, yeah everything's okay. Sorry..._ ” he hesistated. 

" _Don't be sorry....Hey, I missed you I really did._.." Tom whispered in a quiet tone. 

Chris hated this tone. _You're not helping here Tom_ , he thought to himself. 

" _I missed you too.._." Chris laughed nervously, "...d _on't be shocked. I mean in a best, best friend sort of way. Because that's what you were for me and I was so busy, I should have called sooner and I'm sorry.._ .” He was silently amazed about how much of a coward of himself he made at this party already. It was very hard to top that now. 

" _I said don't be sorry, but... wait, did you just friendzone me?_ " Tom added with a wink. 

Was Tom nervous? He seemed fidgety and kept running his fingers through his hair and on his neck. Of course, that did not help either. Chris bit his lip. He clearly must have made him feel uncomfortable judging upon his reactions. _Play it cool_ Chris reminded himself, _just play it cool_. You're co-actors. 

There is nothing else going on just laugh. LAUGH! " _Yeh just laugh Chris, you totally just friendzoned me after shamelessly flirting with me! I can't believe it_!" Tom dramatically threw his hands in the air, ".. _.I'm not sure how to ever forgive you_." 

" _I'm not sure either_ " Chris said looking away as he slowly started walking back to the shore leaving a very puzzled Tom behind. It was beyond bearable. He needed to get away. Best get away from the whole party completely and back to his hotel as fast as possible, in fact he even considered getting an earlier flight back home tomorrow. 

This was all sorts of wrong. He shouldn't have agreed to coming out here like this, with Tom. 

" _Wait!_ " Tom rushed to catch up with his blonde friend who suddenly seemed in a frenzied hurry to get as far away from here as possible. Tom latched onto Chris's wrist and flung him around boring his eyes into Chris's much bewildered ones. 

" _What are you running away from_?" Tom laughed under his breath. He knew he shouldn't laugh but how else could he overplay the tension from the situation that was all over the air. 

  
" _You! I'm running from your words, your gaze and everything you are! I can't stand this, not a second more! I mean your, your._.." he shouted though it was unintentional, he was just unable to control the fire burning fiercly inside him anymore. He was in a state of rage and emotion that felt like toture and he knew so dearly that it was to the point of no return. 

He looked down and tried to focus somewhere between the sand and Tom's feet, ".. _.being fucking perfect and all. It's almost impossible to work with you, do you have any idea? It's impossible to be near you yet even more impossible to not be near you. I can't go on wasting my time with this I just can't_ ..." he choked and lost his voice, slowly becoming aware of what he was saying he began shaking. 

" _I.. I'm sorry I made you feel..uncomfortable with anything I might have said or done , I didn't know that you felt like this..._ " Tom stuttered. 

Chris could not hold back a quiet laught," _Even now you are apologizing. Do you even know how fucking perfect you are? I hate that you do this, GOD_ ..." he looked into Tom's eyes, " .. _. look, I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm saying. Sorry I ruined this party for you, sorry I am such a fool..._ ". 

With the last word he turned around and continued walking back to the villa, he clenched his fists and bit his lip to try and hold back the tears. _This is ridiculous_ he thought to himself. 

He hadn't cried for years except for the odd movie scene, but this was real. Hell, it was definately real and he wished it was just all one of his fantasy scenarios he imagined so often with Tom. Nothing in his imagination could have prepared him for this though, that stinging pain, the words he spoke, everything felt real, even the wet hand that embraced his arm felt real. 

He stopped numb and tried to make sense of if he had fallen into a dream but almost immedialty something tugged at his hair and turned him around pulling closer and closer to that beautiful british face, “ _You're such an idiot indeed”_ was the last thing he heard before Tom's lips were on his own.Shocked, his heart forgot its own rythm as he thought of how often he had imagined this in wildest dreams. 

The feel of his soft yet salty lips from the sea water were nothing compared to how a dream would ever be and as he felt the kiss getting harsher and harsher to almost the point of blissful pain he held on soaking in every drop of passion. In that defining moment all he knew was that he wanted it to last forever tand tha he had never felt anything like it , with anyone, ever. 

He placed one hand on Toms back and dragged him closer while his other hand rested on his cheek. He poured his heart out like the rending sea in a passionate wave on wave of desperate kisses before hearing the deep yearning moans of Tom escape into his ears. It sent him completely over the edge, he wanted him right then and there but suddenly had to break off the embrace from the nearing sounds of people approaching the beach from the villa. 

“ _Shit!_ ” Tom hissed as Chris quickly turned around to check for potential witnesses of the scenario, luckily he was relieved to see the people heading away. 

“ _Nobody saw.._.” he tried to encourage Tom still reeling from the kiss. 

“ _I don't know what I just did. Forgive me_.” 

“I _'m not sure either but there's nothing to forgive.._.” Chris mumbled, “... _I just know that, I want that again, I want to feel your lips again for god sake! At least a thousand times..._ “ 

“ _Chris?_ ” 

“ _Shut up will you_ ” he said stepping closer still confident from the kiss, and placed his hands around his waist, “.. _.you have no idea how often I've imagened this_ ” he whispered into Toms ear. 

“ _Not as often as I have I bet_ ” Tom breathed into another kiss. 

*** 

" _I must be so lucky, having someone who makes saying goodbye so hard.._." Robert muttered under his breath unaware of an approaching Chris just behind him. He played with the cigarette in his hand a while longer before putting the phone down, " _Robert! There you are me old cobber!"_. 

Chris touched Robert's shoulder playfully and smiled trying to hide what he had just witnessed, the party host however was unresponsive and continued staring absentmindly into his phone. 

" _Erm, can I take a seat_?" Chris stood akwardly in the living room. It took Tom and him quite a while and quite a few passionate kisses before they awkwardly walked back to the party. They agreed to meet again later in the hotel and lord knew what the night had in store. Chris was in a state of happiness and emotion that could not yet allow him to feel any guilt or any realization of what had happened. He did not even realize that catching Robert in this situation was a glimpse into his own future. 

" _Feel free_ " he spoke, shrugging off Chris's hand and taking another long puff of his cigarette. 

" _I want to apologize for what happened earlier, I was in a bad place. Thanks for not mentioning anything to Tom although, it probably would have made things a little easier"_ he added with a smirk. 

" _Easier?_ " Robert looked surprised and turned to face Chris, " _...why is your hair wet? Wait, what the HELL did you do in my kitchen?_ " 

" _Well, we decided to take a walk down to the sea and._.." 

" _Say no more_ " Rob grinned and shook his head in pleased disbelief, ".. _.well I didn't think my words would have proved to be THIS encouragable, but I'm happy for you guys. Just don't forget what I said though..._ " 

" _How do you-_ " 

_"I know that kind of smile and I know it well..." he stared into the distance, "...although it's been a while since I have seen it_ ." 

Chris looked at the iPhone now back in Roberts hand. 

“ _It was Jude right?_ ” 

“ _Yeh, i guess it was_.” 

“ _So this thing between you and Jude, how did it all start?_ " 

Robert manifested his eyes on the curious blue eyes staring at him and smiled, " _How much time do you have?_ " 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my first hiddlesworth fiction and my first english fanfiction too. I can only hope you enjoyed reading it. It is still very difficult for me to write in a language that is not my mother tongue. Thanks a million, Jenni, for reading over the chapters and making them sound a whole lot better!! And thanks to everyone who left kudos or a comment!! :)  
> Anyway, I somehow enjoyed writing the scenes with Robert most, and even though i enjoyed all of it, all those particular scenes were a lot easier to write for me. When i began writing this fanfic, I had no plan of where it would take me, I didn't even think it would include Jude , but I guess Robert and Jude being my forever OTP , it somehow evolved, and then this idea in my head evolved...  
> How much time would you have for Robert and Jude?


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